My Lenten Project

So, I actually managed to go to church for Ash Wednesday...although that might have been the first time I've gone in at least a year. I know, horrible, right? But I went this week. Holland was out of town in Palo Alto, CA for an Infectious Disease fellowship interview at Stanford. I've been feeling sorry for myself a little more than usual because night float (which is what I've been on for two weeks - 12+ hours a night, 6 nights a week), particularly at the hospital where I was, is one of the more unpleasant rotations. This inspired my Lenten project - I'm going to do at least one thing every day that makes me feel like a real person. Residency can be really isolating and, frankly, dehumanizing if you aren't careful. I think I've started to see myself as existing outside of normal humanity. Like I'm not a normal person like everyone else. I feel like I've lost a lot of what was good and kind and unique about me.

I feel like the people who survive residency most intact are people who just kind of float along the surface of things. Not that they don't do their job. They still fully do their jobs and are good doctors. But they somehow keep their minds from drowning in it. I think they keep a broader field of vision.

So anyway, that's what I'm doing for Lent. Holland laughed at me when I told him because he said that wasn't giving up anything and it sounded like just doing nice fun things for myself for forty days. I told him that it did too count for Lent because it's going to make me a better person.

Here's what I've done so far:

Wednesday - Went to church

Thursday - Went running while the sun was still out (!)

Friday - Ate Mexican and then came home and slept in

Today - Watched episode after episode of Say Yes to the Dress and I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant. Hey, it's something a normal person would do! But I'll try to make it more worthwhile in the future.

I'll keep ya'll updated.